Only on EBAY
by beegirl
Summary: Mac stumbles across something that is just too good to be true for Harm.
1. Colonel's Research Project

To read what Mac is talking about go to www.netscape.net and look for the link on the right hand side of the page.... this just popped into my head as I read the story. Um...sure wish I owned them, but I don't and uh...oh yeah, I wish I could make up a jingle like those annoying ones you see on TV.  
  
Col Mackenzie's Office JAG Headquarters Falls Church, VA  
  
Mac scanned over the news page looking for anything that might interest her sister Liz. Liz had emailed about an hour ago, whining about an English project that had to do with proving golf was a sport. "It's either I prove that or that the bombing of Baghdad was a war crime Mac and I really don't want to do option B." Mac remembered reading. So Mac had decided to spend her lunch break researching anything about golf that she could. Hell, she didn't even know how to play the darn game, much less classify it as a sport. "Give me a murder trial or a DDO any day." She thought to herself.  
  
Suddenly, Mac's eyes went wide as she saw something she couldn't believe. "Ok, now whose hair-brained idea is this?" She thought, clicking on the link.  
  
NORFOLK, Va. (AP) - You can now have your very own Navy F/A-18A Hornet jet fighter - but some assembly may be required.  
  
Mac about died laughing. "You have to hand it to the US Government to lose track of a Hornet", Mac murmured, unaware that her partner was standing in the doorway. "What about a Hornet Mac? Some new case?" Harm asked. Mac just about jumped out of her chair when she heard Harm. "Put a bell on or something Harm? Did you learn how to sneak up on people in Spy School or something?" Mac asked, referring to Harm's stint with the CIA. "No, I just learned how to figure out when you're concentrating on something. What are you reading?" He asked, moving into her office and taking a seat. "The Blue Angels are selling a Hornet." Mac told him, straight faced. "You're not serious, are you Mac? There's no way the government would allow that." Harm suggested, moving around to read the article. He was speechless, and wishing he'd had about 9 million dollars to spare. "Just goes to show you Mac." Harm commented as he moved around to leave her office. "What's that Harm?" "You really can buy and sell anything on EBAY." 


	2. Admiral's Privilege

A/N: Ok...this is for Sancti and snosamie6...first off snosamie6; I totally agree that golf is a sport. The whole reason I put that in is that right now in my English class, I have to write a definitional argument as to why golf is a sport based on criteria that I create. I say it's a sport because it is played competitively and governed by a set of rules. There is also a degree of controlled physical exertion. Some people in my class last week said it wasn't a sport and I about had a cow. So that's why that's in there. Sancti-well, that is LMAO funny that people are actually bidding on it. So, here is chapter 2. I also don't own them, never have, never will and I'll put all of JAG back nicely when I'm done. (Except maybe for Webb. He deserves to be on Enterprise.)  
  
Admiral Chedgwidden's Office JAG Headquarters Falls Church, VA  
  
AJ was trying really hard to ignore the rest of the world. He wanted to hide in his office and forget that the last couple of months had happened recently. But try as he might, he couldn't stop thinking about it. Plus his staff was beginning to notice his mood swings, especially poor Coates. He owed her an apology for his behavior. He realized she was only trying to help but his anger and her ability to get to the point made it difficult. Sighing he punched his intercom. "Coates?" He asked. When he didn't get an answer, he pushed it again. "Coates? Where the hell are you?" He bellowed. That should have got someone's attention. AJ thought as he got up to go around his desk. But no one came. Growling now, he decided to see where his Yeoman and the rest of this staff had disappeared.  
  
Bullpen  
  
"I'm telling you, Mac really read this on the Internet, Sturgis." Harm told Commander Turner as they walked back in from court. The article Mac had read him earlier in the day was burning a whole in his pocket and he was dying to tell someone about it. "Harm that's ridiculous and crazy. That's like saying that the Navy was going to sell a Sea-Wolf class sub to me for 10 dollars. There's no way that's happening. This is a joke right?" Sturgis asked him. He had a feeling that Harm was starting to play practical jokes to get back into the swing of things at Headquarters. "I'm not kidding you Sturgis. It's real. Hey Mac, come tell Sturgis about the blurb you read today." Harm yelled across to Mac.  
  
PO Jennifer Coates was across the way from two Senior Officers copying files for Admiral Chegwidden when she overhead the two of them talking. Glancing up she noticed Lt. Sims coming towards her and stopped her. "Ma'am, do you know what the Col and the Commanders are talking about?" She asked. This peeked Harriet's love of gossip and her curiosity. "No Jen, I don't. What have you heard?" The older woman asked. "Something about a Submarine for sale for ten dollars and something Col read this morning about EBAY." Jen replied, stacking the piles of folders to return to the Admiral. "Sounds interesting and Bud is always on EBAY, maybe he knows something. I'll get back to you Jen." Harriet said, walking towards her husband's office. Jen turned around to head back to the office when she ran smack into said Admiral. "Hello sir." She squeaked.  
  
Jen really couldn't read the Admiral, but she was guessing by the look on his face, that he'd heard part of the conversation between herself and Lt. Sims. "What the devil were you and Lt. Sims talking about Petty Officer?" AJ growled. He'd come to find his Yeoman and discovered her and half his staff was having a conversation about EBAY. Jennifer swallowed hard. The Admiral had been in a bad mood for about a month now and while she had a pretty good idea it had to do with Ms. Cavanaugh, she was trying to stay out of it, like he'd asked. "Um, Col Mackenzie read an article about a piece of Navy equipment that was for sale on EBAY sir. I was just trying to find out what it was to, um inform you." She looked up at the man and hoped he believed her. She really didn't want him mad at her again.  
  
AJ just looked around and tried not to smile. He'd read the article earlier this morning. The SecNav had sent it to him in an email. Apparently the whole thing was legal, but humorous as well. He just had no idea that the story had made it into his bullpen. "Listen up people. The rumor is true. There is a Navy F/A-18A Hornet jet fighter for sale on EBAY. Now if you don't get back to work, you'll all find yourselves for sale on EBAY." This sent his entire staff scampering back to their offices and desks. Turning abruptly so Jen wouldn't see him smile, AJ headed back to his office. He was well on his way to being in a better mood. All thanks to EBAY.  
  
Thanks to www.navy.com for the info on the Sea-Wolf Class Sub. And sorry if it's a little heavy. If there is a next chapter, it'll be more humorous. :) 


	3. Information SuperStinkyWay

Hey guys..not really an authors note, but if Fanfiction.net say it is, well then pooh on them.  
  
A lot of you have replied in regards to the Hornet on Ebay. The links below tell more about it. Hopefully there will be a third chapter to Only on Ebay up shortly, but I wanted to give you guys all the information so you can be the judge.  
  
Beegirl  
  
Link to on Ebay site  
  
http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=3078059896&category=4672 


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